Burning out in Friction.

Bad day. F****** bad day.

It's so f***** up i can't even use the word 'F***' to describe it.

I am such a motherf*****. Maybe a pigf***** too.

I don't need to f*** pigs to be a f****** pigf*****.

Gosh...can't wait for Loola. Can go screw myself there till i bleed to death.

If there's a wish i could get right now, that would be for someone to kill me.

Like maybe cut my wrists and let me bleed to death.

I like it painful, especially when there's a load of blood.

I'm just being sadistic to myself.

*Sigh.

My horoscope for today said:

-A friend is likely to bring a little zing into the day as something you've been mulling over has a chance to be sorted once and for all!

Whatever. My life is getting more screwed up the more it progresses...

Who was the bloody f****** guy who was supposed to help me sort things right?

God...my f*** of a head is killing me.

Let's do the Louisa thing:
Kill me(:

Now, lets put the physics law into play.

I am a piece of f****** rubber. You rub me on a tar road till i'm like crap.

And after that, you think it's cool that i'm still a f****** piece of rubber.

So you continue rubbing. Rubbing my f****** heart out till i look like a sadistic piece of shit.

Yeah? Capiche? That's how i feel like.

I could f****** scar my whole arm right now if i never had parents.

I really could. And it's over a period of mulling that i've reached this f****** stage.

Why did i even try? Why did i even think of it?

Why am i so dumb to injure myself. Because of you?

I've tried so hard to make you happy. I could tear my heart out and give it to you if that makes you happy.

Tear it out, that is.

The problem is i'm like a bloody car without any f****** gas, capiche?

If you don't contribute back in normal ways, i'm gonna stop someday.

And i dunno how you're gonna push this car to the gas station.

I do hope you understand.

If you aren't happy with what i said you can always come to me tomorrow and hit me.

Coz i don't give a f****** shit what happens to me tomorrow.

Screw myself if my heart is still f****** beating tomorrow.

So now you tell me. What do you intend to do? Huh?

I give up. I've had enough.

Maybe you won't give up. But i've lost it. I'm a piece of crap.

It's affecting me in everything i do. I can't think, can't even eat in peace.

Talking about living this life? I should be a suicide bomber.

Screw my f****** head. It's f****** pain i can't even f****** think.

F*** the f****** f******. I'm not gonna retry.

If we ever fall out, i will never. Never, find another person.

Tonia told me not to say this, but i'll just take half the advice.

The other half, is for me to waiver. In case, things require changing.

But from now on, i should start getting used to the title 'Bachelor'.

Screw. If you wanna talk tomorrow, find me.